My first entry will explore the relationship that my mother and I share.
For the first few years of my life, it had never really occurred to me that my mother did everything on her wheelchair. It actually wasn't until kindergarten that I realized that other moms were able to walk around freely just like I could. I had begun to wonder why that was and I would frequently question my mom on this subject. I don't remember much but my mom would tell me that it would sometimes make me pretty upset. When I was six years old, she finally sat me down and explained the accident that happened to her which caused her paraplegia and made her wheelchair bound. That sole conversation helped me understand the entire situation and it made me realize that her mobility had next to nothing to do with the way she was raising my sister and I. From then on I saw the importance of helping her with simple things like pushing her around when her arms got tired, reaching up for things that were put high up in shelves or in the fridge and holding her legs to make getting into car seats and chairs much more easily. Other than those few things, I have always felt like she was completely normal.
Throughout all of my years in school, nearly all of my friends who know my mother have never failed to ask me why she uses a wheelchair. She looks normal, speaks normally, drives a car and works; the only difference between her and other mothers is that she uses a wheelchair and I suppose that was the biggest thing that stood out to everyone for some reason. What most people tend to not understand or comprehend is that a persons physical ability does not hinder their ability to be a good parent. She has faced her fair share of pity even from strangers who mean well when they try to "pray" for her or wish for her to get better. I've always thought it was funny how ignorance can be excusable under the guise of religion and good intentions. The truth is that my mother has never needed pity. She has never had to answer bizarre questions about the way in which she goes about her daily life. She was able to live independently, marry, have children and raise them, attend events at our school, cook, clean, drive us around and get herself to wherever she needs to go. Yes, it is true that my mom has faced immense adversity just because of some stupid accident but it is also true that she has overcome all of that. Anyone who has taken the time to truly get to know her understand that she is one of the strongest people they will have ever met.
I have always found the questions over my moms abilities to be incredibly annoying. For a period in my life, I've told people who asked that I didn't enjoy talking about it. That turned into me telling them that she was in an accident that resulted in her being paralyzed from the waist down. I also tell everyone that is curious that her injury and "disability" has never affected me emotionally or physically to any degree and that she, like every other mother I know, is the best parent they can possibly be. My mom has always been one of my best friends and mentors; she has taught me so much about challenges and obstacles that appear in life and is probably the best model to look at when trying to overcome any type of hardship. Anyone who knows her story shouldn't feel bad for her, they should be inspired by her and everything she stands for.
Comments